It’s me. You won’t believe what your life looks like now at 30. You are currently in the midst of a global pandemic. You have three kids, you are married to a total dreamboat and you’re searching for your dream home.
You no longer have the time or patience to care about petty issues or whether or not you fit into your size 8’s. You are so much more than you ever thought you would be, and you’re still learning.
Jessiika, your unique spelling of your name has been a blessing and a curse. It’s a nightmare for anything official but sets you apart as an Instagram Content Creator – did you know you could make money by essentially being your own Big Brother? Well, I’m it.
Your photography skills combined with the social exposure of your life have led to the most precious, successful business of your very own – and have your heart and soul adorning the coffee tables, bookshelves and ‘pool room’s’ of so many homes, across the WORLD.
Your sister’s still drive you crazy – and they’re still stealing your clothes. Your life is so full now, your days so busy. You have grown in monumental ways from the self-conscious, unsure twenty-something you were into a successful businesswoman, wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend.
You still don’t care to know who your dad is. Maybe that will change? Who knows. All you know is that no-one can rival the daddy your husband is to your babies. For right now, you have everything you couldn’t even imagine having back then. You are still so friendly and funny, still love a slut-drop on the d-floor and have such a spectrum of different personalities in your inner circle. Though you have social anxiety now (yes it’s a thing – shut up and Google it *eyeroll*), you still open yourself up every single day to the masses. Some of them, you even call friends!
You’re empowering and honest, you even put your boobs on the internet (don’t worry – it’s not porn). You are candid and raw and have the bravery to admit to thousands of people who ‘see’ you daily that you aren’t ok. You start conversations around bullying, mental health, motherhood, sex (!!!), intimacy, business and so much more.
What you longed to hide – the parts of yourself that made you ‘you’, would be celebrated, adored and lusted for by hundreds of thousands of people. You finally let go of the cycle of guilt and shame connected to food and worth, and even recently stuck your middle finger up to a diet you had begun. Because you know what? I’m still learning. You’re still learning. We are still on our journey to self love and acceptance and we are surrounded by the most incredible people who love us, just as we are.
20 year old Jessiika – you have no idea of what is in store for you, a mere 10 years away. I can’t wait for you to see what we have created.
30 year old me.
I couldn’t love this more if I tried. Such a good reminder to reflect on where you’ve come from. I think a lot of our 20 year old selves would be in absolute awe of us now.