It’s been 3 amazing months since our Goldie girl entered our world and changed it for the better. Never in my wildest dreams after having two boys did I think that one day I would be one very happy mama to a beautiful girl, I just feel so incredibly blessed and so grateful that she’s here and also LUCKY; just god damn lucky.

Goldie was a year in the making before we even tried for her, deciding to have number 3 was a tough decision. Only because (and i’m sure this is the reason for many people) children are expensive, 2 to 3 is a huge adjustment if you don’t already have a big house or a big enough car and everything else that comes with another child. The deciding moment for me was when someone said to me once, you only regret the children you DON’T have and in that moment I was kind of just like, life”s too short, have the baby and the rest will fall into place.

Phil and I fall pregnant very easily, I knew I wanted an April/May Baby so we planned to try during ovulation in August, that week came and then 2 weeks later we had our + positive!

27th August 201827th of August 2018

Morning sickness kicked in at about 6 weeks for me, at first it was pretty standard.. first thing in the morning then would ease. I had to go for an early glucose test at 8 weeks just because Bowie was over 4500g.
I managed to make it through the test without being sick but vomited on myself driving home, that was basically the end of me. From then on I was constantly ill, I went to hospital once, we ended up pulling a mattress out and leaving it on the living room floor and that was pretty much where I stayed up until 14 weeks. I get asked all the time how I managed 2 kids while suffering from HG and honestly I just survived each day. The kids were really good to me, it was almost like they knew. Whenever I would be sick Levi would come and rub my back and bring me a cup of water, he was only 3 and he had the biggest heart. I also took a bit of a break on my Instagram, I just couldn’t even look at my phone so I just switched off completely.

We announced our pregnancy on the 3rd of November when I was 13 weeks, my morning sickness had subsided but didn’t fully stop until about 18 weeks. We found out what Goldie was on Christmas day, we had a close friend organise a gender reveal box for us, it was really intimate and special and I’m glad it was something Phil and I could share together.

My pregnancy was pretty hard on my body, I suffered from a lot of pregnancy symptoms, almost all of them really!
to name a few:
Hyperemesis Gravidarum, fatigue, mood swings, sore breasts, tender nipples, itchy nipples, itchy and dry skin, pigmentation on my face, swelling, decreased appetite, blood nose/bleeding gums, low iron, constipation, swollen vagina, back pain, shortness of breath, insomnia, pelvic girdle pain, sciatica, round ligament pain, restless legs, smell aversions, increased discharge, inguinal hernia, vaginal prolapse, indigestion, stretch marks, sex dreams, weak nails, hair growth, bumpy nipples, crusty nipples (dry colostrum) dry lips.

So third pregnancy was definitely full on for me! and I didn’t experience half of these symptoms the first two times,
but whats important is I survived!

We had a scan booked in for 34 weeks to check the size of Goldie, having two previous babies on the larger side (9.2 pounds & 10.6 pounds) we really wanted to keep an eye on her and make sure that we weren’t going to have a giant baby again and a crazy birth like we did with Bowie! (he tore my cervix, you can read all about it on Bowie’s Birth Story)

During the scan they said she was measuring fine but she had flipped and was now sitting breech. I was pretty disheartened at that time because it meant we couldn’t set an induction date unless we turned here, they also mentioned that if we couldn’t turn her then we would be likely to have a C section, thankfully we had a successful ECV done at 37.5 weeks (where they turn that baby manually with hand movements) It’s uncomfortable, I wouldn’t say unbearable but I just focused on my breathing and thought about the end game and I got through it!
It took less then 3 minutes.

We booked in to have an induction at 39 weeks, the reasoning behind this was purely I wanted to be in control of my labour, Bowie’s birth brought up a lot of fear for me, fear that I didn’t even know I carried with me. I wanted my third birth to be calm and enjoyable, I wanted my recovery to be normal and easier. I didn’t want a giant baby to tear through my cervix, I just wanted it to be calm.

Sunday May 5th

We went in at 6pm, they checked my cervix a couple of times, I was 3cm dilated. They decided I didn’t need any intervention to get the process started (gel or balloon) and so they would keep me overnight (just in case my waters broke after all the fiddling around) and we would start again in the morning by breaking my waters.

Monday May 6th

6:00am I went back to birth suite, I had an internal at 7am and was still 3cm dialated. From then on we basically just chilled for most of the day waiting for a doctor to be free to start my induction.
Finally at 1:00pm they broke my waters, I remember having a little cry during the process. It was painful but I think I really cried because I realised that this was it, it was baby time! Bowie’s birth was 2.5 hours from my waters breaking so I thought this would be quick)

Having your waters break is a weird feeling, I don’t remember feeling a pop just a warm gush on the bed, afterwards I got up to shower just to freshen up and I was in there for about 20 minutes because every time I turned the shower off and dried myself I would have another gush and wet every where again! haha

I had my an epidural put in around 2pm before any syntocin  or drip had been done, with Levi I had an epidural after 6 hours of labour and with Bowie I had nothing, so having already experienced a drug free labour and remembering how hard/painful out of control it was I was completely okay with going pain free for the whole thing 3rd time around, In my mind I just thought if I know i’m going to get it anyway why wait and put myself through the pain if I didn’t have to! I also laboured really quickly with Bowie and that’s why I couldn’t get the epidural so I didn’t want that to happen this time, I wanted to be in control.

After that it was pretty slow going until about 5:30pm.
I started to feel a pain on my right side, I remembered when I had the epi with Levi that they had said sometimes It can favour one side and leaning to the other side can help it spread out more so I turned onto my right side hoping it would ease.
As time went on the pain got stronger and stronger, I told my student Midwife that I was starting to get really uncomfortable and that I didn’t think it was working. The midwife came in and checked my epidural and everything appeared to be okay.

By 6:30 the pain had spread and I could feel every contraction, I tried breathing through but it’s always hard.
I did get upset, not so much at the pain as at this point although it hurt it was still tolerable but the fear kicked in again.
My mind just kept taking me back to Bowie’s birth and I just kept telling myself it’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt, I can’t do this again.
Phil was really incredible during these moments, he hardly let go of my hand, he was always reassuring and strong for me.
The anesthetist came in and checked the back of my epidural, I can’t remember exactly what she had said as I was contracting but she had a little play and said if it didn’t start working again soon they may have to re do it.
At that time I had been labouring for about 2 hours, I said to myself you know I can do it, I couldn’t have that much longer to go I’ll just stick it out. Over the next 2 hours or so that all came crashing down, the pain was high, I was crying uncontrollably, everything that I had planned (pain free, easy birth) just wasn’t happening, I was scared.

Around 9 I asked for a second epidural, my contractions were almost every minute and lasting 30 or so seconds, a midwife suggested that I try that gas while we did the epidural as I had to sit still during the procedure. I was never a fan of the gas with the boys but I really wanted to calm myself down so I was happy to try. Personally I don’t think it helped with the pain but for me it helped with my breathing and it was almost a distraction. I sat on the edge of the bed holding on to Phil while the midwife counted through my contractions with me, keeping my breathing steady and encouraging me. She is someone who I won’t forget, even Phil was like thank god you were here!
For a minute it was like we were the only three people in the room, it just goes to show what a good midwife can do for your mind set.

Once the epi kicked in I was a happier girl! I could still feel my contractions slightly but there wasn’t as much pain, I still used the gas during them to help take the edge off. I still felt everything below my pubic bone, I’m not sure why… sometimes it just happens.

I don’t really recall what happened between getting the second epidural and starting to push, maybe the gas worked better then i thought!
haha, I think I started pushing around 11:00pm.
I was on my back for most of the time and It was such an awkward position, I kept getting the urge to push during contractions but I just couldn’t get myself in the right spot to get there. I asked the midwife if I could turn on my side, she helped me and then she put a gym ball between my legs just to give me a rest and just encouraged me to push as I feel.
As soon as I turned on my side though I could feel everything, I could feel where and when I needed to push, I could ride that urge and with my next contraction I pushed as hard as I could, I felt her head coming before they even realised how close I was.
Then everyone just started saying “Keep going Jess, she’s right there, don’t stop, keep pushing”
(wow I just started crying while typing this)
I just felt this rush and this strength, I could feel the “burn” but for me, it’s not painful, it’s motivating, it just gave me the push I needed to dig down and push even harder.
(Just FYI no I didn’t poo, but I did with Levi, I didn’t see anything I just felt the midwife wipe my bum haha)

After her head was out I rolled onto my back and felt the top of her head, wet and warm.
I felt my contraction come and I pushed down as hard as I could, I felt her little arms come out and I reached down and grabbed her and pulled her up onto my chest.
May 6th at 11:33pm Goldie Bloom was born.

After they cut the cord they were doing their checks down stairs, I didn’t tear but I had a 900ml blood loss, they pressed the button that sets the alarm off and the room suddenly seemed chaotic.
Instantly I burst into tears because It was Bowie’s birth all over again yet I was more aware, I turned to Phil and just said
“they’re taking me, they’re going to take me, it’s happening again”.

After Bowie was born I had  a 2L hemorrhage, I was rushed to theatre where they discovered he’d torn my cervix.
I wasn’t able to hold him, give him his first feed or even walk  for 18 hours.

After more discussion the doctors were confident that the bleeding had stopped and that I didn’t have to go to theatre, I was so relieved in that moment. I didn’t want to let Goldie go or leave Phil. Over the next hour the midwives did their usual obs, I gave Goldie her first feed and rested. Phil left at 12:30am, He’d been there since 7am and I didn’t want him to fall asleep driving home so I told him to leave. (there was no where for him to sleep in the birth suite)

Goldie had a slight fever after she was born, it came down after an hour though.
After everyone had left it was just me and Goldie in the birth suite, I was so tired but I couldn’t sleep.
I felt the urge to pee even though I had a catheter, I kept telling the midwife but we couldn’t really work out what was happening as the bag attached to it showed there was urine so it seemed to be working.
After she left the room the urge became so strong that I just kind of pushed as if I was sitting on the toilet to pee and low and behold I pee’d everywhere all over the bed, I could hear it dripping on the floor!
I did this 3 times, after the third time they moved me back to the maternity ward haha
It didn’t happen again after I moved though.

I got back to the ward at around 3:30am, there was another woman in there recovering from her birth, her baby was in special care (totally fine just had a temp) she slept the whole time so It wasn’t a bother. If anything I was more on edge because I was worried about waking her!
Goldie didn’t make a peep but I still couldn’t sleep, I just kept starting at her, sitting up after every little noise.

She was born at 11:30pm on the 6th and we were on our way home by 3pm on the 7th.
We had to wait for myself to do a wee more then 3 times (which was fine and pain free as I had no tearing)
and wait for her to do a poo.

My Recovery with Goldie was different with the boys, It was faster and I left the hospital the next day which I didn’t do with the boys, however I did get after birth pains with Goldie and I’d never had them before. They were incredibly painful, I got them every time I fed her for about a week and a half.

The first 24 hours after Goldie was born she literally slept, I fed her once in hospital with expressed breast milk through a syringe, the midwife on said that Goldie was probably just exhausted that’s why she’s sleeping so much and it was important to get food into her to get her sugars up.  The first night home she definitely had awoken from her sleep Hungry! She fed every hour. I was tired, but I was so content, I was happy to wake up to her and just stare and watch her suckle.

When I look back at my birth with Goldie, even though everything didn’t go to plan it was still a positive experience for me, I look back and I feel good about it. Birth never goes to plan, you can write as many birth plans as you like but I think it’s really important to stay open minded about your birth so when it doesn’t go exactly the way you’d hoped it’s not the end of the world.
Healthy baby & healthy mama is the most important thing.

If I could give any tips to upcoming birth mums they would be

1. Know your options, do your research. If I hadn’t done this when I found out Goldie was breech I would have been pushed into a C section
2. Get a student midwife, I loved mine; having someone with me, by my side that I could ask questions whenever I wasn’t sure, who knew the system and my birth options, some one who had my best interest at heart, someone to come with me to appointments and question the doctor if It didn’t seem right or if it wasn’t what I wanted but I was too scared to speak up, It was the best and I’ll always treasure our student midwife!
3. Get a Birth Photographer, these photos I will always treasure! I probably wouldn’t be able to recall half my birth without them!
I’m so thankful for Melissa Jean and the magic she helped us create that day.

Goldie Bloom Wilson
May 6th 11:33pm
7.7pounds – 3.5kg
Absolutley obsessed with her.