I felt you. You were a pea. Then a lemon. Then an eggplant, I followed advice. I read twelve books. I quit caffeine, almost. Could you tell I was scared? Waiting for my 2nd baby, two under two… was I crazy? I talked to you, sang to you… I wasn’t ready. But then you were here. Ten Toes, 10 pounds. Love, Big fat love. I held you. I fed you. I realised that I would spend my life doing things to make you happy and that that would make me happy. Your big brother Levi loved you from the minute he saw you, everything was perfect and there were times I wondered why I ever worried. And then there were times I wanted to give up. You’ve made me rethink my sanity. You’ve made me want to fall at my mother’s feet and tell her that I get it. But then you smile and you say my name and you grab my hand with those little fingers. We’re growing together. We are seeing the world like it’s new. I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you. You’ll giggle, and I’ll do it all over again. And we will walk hand in hand. Until you let go.

I love you so much Bowie Knox Wilson, Happy First Birthday.

Love mama x