plural noun: boundaries
a line which marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
This week on my lil’ blog, I thought I would touch on something that isn’t really spoken about – because it’s notoriously *uncomfortable*.
Like most things that require stepping OUT of your comfort zone – it’s actually really good for you! Making rules for yourself and your family, absolutely falls under self care and at the end of the day – YOU are in control of every decision you make. So make sure it aligns with your personal and professional values!
Boundaries = Self Care
Recently, there’s been a movement away from glorifying the ‘hustle’, or ‘a yes person’ or the ‘I’ll-sleep-when-I’m-dead/workaholic’ mentality, and a movement towards maintainable, healthy, balanced lifestyles. You can do all the things, be everything to everyone – but at what cost to your personal values and integrity? If someone challenges your boundary or your line – and you feel discomfort as a result – it might be time to gently remind them that you need to protect yourself by enforcing a boundary, however that may look.
Different People + Different Values = Different Boundaries
We are all human, and need to remember that something we hold close to our chest doesn’t necessarily mean someone else feels the same – it’s a necessary conversation that (while it can be uncomfortable) will prevent you from falling into old patterns and halting the slippery slope that can lead to you feeling all those icky feelings, from stepping over your own line.
Motherhood = Protective Boundaries
I think things really change when you hit motherhood and are ultimately responsible for not only your own safety, but the protection of your babies, too. The things that were valued above all else in your youth (acceptance, admiration) are no longer today’s goals; with kindness, empathy, trust and honesty trumping all. Learning to set boundaries for yourself will have a knock-on effect in children, which leaves them feeling empowered in situations that arise around consent, privacy and feeling safe.
Intuition = Boundary Baseline
Ya girl likes to keep it real, so I will gladly share the juicy, the raw (hello yes I shared my breasts on YouTube for my Mummy Makeover Journey), the good and the bad – but only to an extent that I still feel safe. Being a mum with a big online following means I am open to trolls, judgement, criticism and cruelty on the reg, but since I sat down with myself and really dug deep down to find my no-go zone, I hadn’t previously been able to really visualise where that line fell. I found that it corresponded a lot with my personal values, and the thought of compromising these values triggered instant discomfort, giving me a clear understanding of my baseline. Nowadays, I know what I am able and unable to do, and which audience (whether professional or personal) I share things with. From what I share, to who I work with – my values will dictate the choices I make and without these clear boundaries I would not be ‘on brand’ with myself.
Sorry, Not Sorry
Someone said to me recently, that I have a responsibility to have firm boundaries, to enforce them unapologetically because they are there to protect me. It really resonated with me.
So ladies – have a little sit down with yaself. Be your own Hype Girl. Write down a list of boundaries. Where is your line? Professionally, and personally? Find those lines…and ENFORCE THEM!
Remember – my lines may be completely opposite to yours, but that’s because I am me, and they are mine. What makes me squirm might totally empower you, and vice-versa!
Get to it honey. You can thank me later…