As parents, it is incredibly difficult to be ‘one’ with your partner when there are many ‘two, three’ or more components to your family unit. It’s easy in the chaos of parenthood to miss cues, misread texts, completely become out of sync with your cycle AND feel like you and your partner are housemates who own strange little messy people.

It. Doesn’t. Have. To. Be. A. Grand. Gesture.

There are SO many ways to keep in touch with yourself (literally) – oh and your partner, too! It’s time to show some initiative, get creative and improvise (an insurmountable task when you are co-sleeping/up 343542 a night) to allow you and your partner to reconnect.

  1. LOVE LANGUAGE

If you’ve not heard this term – google it immediately. It can mean an almost instant reconnect between two people – family members included! – once you suss out how they feel and give love. There are five main love languages, and a very simple Quiz you can do together to fast forward through the awkward imbalance and start rectifying it asap!

  1. EYE FORKING

While MAFS got SO much wrong (shut up it’s my guilty pleasure and I will not apologise), they inevitably got SOMETHING right with the saucy sexpert sexologist that is Alessandra Rampolla. With their little exercises of touch, eye contact and connection, this season’s MAFS couples were feeling ALL sorts of ways. It was even backed by expert psycho-sexologist Chantelle Otten who agreed with Rampolia about the connection task. If it feels as cringe as Pat giving Bel a foot massage on their honeymoon, scroll down, lover!

  1. CRACK THE CODE

Just like your very own love language – you could have a verbal or physical cue that tells your partner ‘i’m in the mood’ without using those words that instantly give me visions of Austin Powers ‘the look of love’ and his love affair with Frau Farbissiner. It could be a lit candle in the bedroom (my fave here), an emoji, a single eye-f*ck or even a love letter in their smoko box. In our busy existence it is very easy to miss subtle cues for BOTH consenting partners, and it’s once again a more direct expression of both consent and intent. Saucy!

  1. ROLE PLAY

I find this particular one fun when deep in the trenches of parental life – it’s an easy way to lighten the mood and get creative. Begin by assuming a ‘character’ – could be an accent, a phrase, or the whole kit and caboodle, costume and all, and begin the saucy tango!

  1. DATE NIGHT/ADVENTURE TIME

Whether it be a simple fish and chips on the back deck affair or a fully fledged dirty weekend – put aside time and make it a priority. There are so many cute ideas around like ‘The Adventure Challenge’ that take the hard work out for you. This particular activity book comes with so many ideas (that you don’t have to think up yourself), you simply find one that fits your allotted time frame and scratch it off like a scratchy – fun! The Adventure Challenge even has a polaroid camera option (if you don’t have one yourself) that you can take to snap quick memories of your time together. Cute! 

It doesn’t have to be grand, or expensive or even time consuming – work with what you’ve got. After all, it’s not the size that matters…it’s what you do with it! *Wink Wink*

By Nicki Roberts | Kin Copy Co

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