Jasmyne Summerfield – Quinn and Theo

If you haven’t found yourself lost in the beautiful instagram feed that is @quinn.and.theo you are missing out! Jasmyne, the beautiful mama behind the page captures her two children beautifully and in the most magical of ways. From their whimsical, beautiful style to their dreamy nap times; Quinn and Theo are the stars of this mama’s life movie and I can’t stop watching! Jasmyne and her family recently announced the wonderful news that they were expecting sweet baby number 3 so I took the opportunity to ask her some questions about her pregnancy and how she felt about expecting another. She answered in the most beautiful way of course and shed some light on questions that I personally wanted answers for, I just know you guys are going to love reading this as much as I did so; enjoy!

  1. Was baby number 3 planned or were you pleasantly suprised?

This little baby was completely planned, we have been trying since before Theo turned one but we weren’t sure how soon we’d be successful while I was still breastfeeding. As soon as I weaned him, my cycle returned and we were extremely lucky to fall pregnant immediately.

2 What were your first thoughts when you found out you were pregnant?

I was overjoyed. I cannot describe the happiness I felt and have continued to feel ever since. When finding out that I was pregnant with both Quinn and Theo, I was shocked. And while I was happy, I was also riddled with anxiety regardless of the fact that they were both planned pregnancies too.

  1. Is this pregnancy any different from your previous 2 pregnancies so far?

Emotionally and mentally this pregnancy is completely different but physically, and counting my first trimester symptoms, it’s very much the same thus far. I’ve been exhaustively tired but with less chance to rest and sleep. Theo has been cutting his molars for the past month too which has understandably added to the deprivation. I’ve been extremely nauseous too but I’ve been lucky enough to not be physically sick through all of my pregnancies. I have been supported by the use of my essential oils so they have allowed me to function through it all. My appetite has been suppressed and I’ve lost a little weight, but I feel that it is returning now that I’ve entered my second trimester. I am showing much earlier than I ever did with both Quinn and Theo which I am loving, it’s so special to have a noticeable bump sooner rather than later.

  1. Do you have any fears or worries about this pregnancy/when baby comes home?

I haven’t so far, I’m sure that will come closer to December. This time around, my anxiety and fears haven’t been so much of an issue. I have much more confidence and a more laid back approach than I previously have had. I know that I have a lot of beautifully (and I’m sure, some not so beautifully) chaotic times ahead of me but I know that I am extremely blessed to be experiencing this all over again and I’m soaking it all in. If there’s one thing Quinn and Theo have taught me, it’s that time passes by much too quickly and these are the moments in my life that I won’t get to relive, no matter how much I wish that I could.

  1. How do you think Quinn & Theo will adjust and is there anything you plan on doing to make the transition easier?

I think that Quinn is going to be an amazing big sister all over again and I’m looking forward to sharing this with her at an older age now that she has a greater understanding of it all. Having Theo has prepared her so well for it. She is already so helpful with him that I’m expecting it will be enhanced with a new baby to dote over. Theo’s reaction will be one I won’t know what to expect. He will be a few months older than Quinn was when she became a big sister and he is the cuddliest toddler I know, so we will see what he is like in a few more months time, but I am already bracing myself for a bit of jealousy and a big adjustment period for him.

I have also gotten them both their own baby dolls to bring home with them when we venture home after the birth. This is something that Quinn loved after Theo was born as we could both feed, change and rock our babies to sleep together.

  1. How will you handle Theo not being your “baby baby” anymore? (always something I’ve struggled to overcome with Levi) Are you worried about the “middle child” syndrome people always talk about? (personally I think its bullshit)

I still think that Quinn is my baby baby sometimes, just a sassy, talking and walking one. Theo already has lost so much of his ‘baby’ status since he is walking, signing and talking much more recently. It will take some getting used to but it will also be so beautiful to see him as big brother. I’ll try to focus on that and not how quickly time has passed since I experienced it all with him.

And as for the middle child syndrome, the only solution I see to that is to have a fourth so the two middle children aren’t alone in their struggles 🙊

  1. If you could pick one trait from Quinn and Theo to pass on to their new sibling what would it be?

I’d love for this baby to have the self assurance and confidence to be as independent and loving as Quinn is, even if I have to be close by to oversee it and bask in it, that makes the process of watching them grow less sad and more bittersweet. Theo is beautifully balanced in his cheekiness, cuteness and sweetness. It’s made him a very easy toddler so far so I’d hope he will pass that on to this baby.

On a more practical level, I absolutely loved how Quinn hit her developmental milestones so early and was able to communicate with us from such a young age, so I’d hope that this baby would be able to do the same. But I’d also love for Theo to pass on how content he is when he is close to me. It makes juggling the workload so much easier when they are soothed so easily with just a cuddle and being worn.

This baby is however more than welcome to be a better sleeper than both of them at night and nap when we all do! 😏

  1. How do you think a 3rd child will impact your relationship and alone time with your partner? Do you have plans on how to overcome this?

My husband works FIFO on a 3/1 roster so our time together is already limited, as is his time with the kids, and our time all together as a family. We have the most amazing relationship with one another and aren’t a couple who need a lot of one on one time to remain in our happy place. We have just recently been on our first date since before Theo was born (in 18months now), and as nice as it was, we really didn’t need it. We get enough quality time both around the kids, and while they are sleeping, to fill up each others cups. We prioritise time as a family over anything else and choose to focus on what we can do together with our children, as we know we won’t get this time with them again. We will have more and more time in our future together as we and the kids grow older and they become more independent. We know what having a new baby means and how that impacts the way we manage our time, so we expect it, accept it and savour the times we do get to cuddle on the couch and have a relatively uninterrupted conversation. That time after the kids are in bed and before Theo wakes to be resettled is our downtime together and we don’t take it for granted at all. We are content enough with each other and comfortable enough with our relationship that it’s a very low maintenance and high quality one- all the best relationships are. This doesn’t mean that we don’t put much effort in, it just means the effort we do put in isn’t expected or required from the other to know where we stand with each other. You won’t see us on many date nights or on a child-free vacation as we want to be spending that time, money and those experiences with the gorgeous humans we have created. We had 5 years of just us and we absolutely made the most of that. At this stage of our lives together, we are making the kids our first priority, and when they are older, we will make the most of it just being us, all over again.

I think living a FIFO lifestyle helps us to see the sacrifices we both make and appreciate each other that much more. For me it also helps put my daily experiences into perspective. It encourages us to make the most of every minute we are lucky to spend with one another, and never take it for granted regardless of the circumstances that it’s under. He is the most amazing father and husband I could ever have asked for, and that doesn’t go unsaid or unexpressed on a daily basis. Except for that one time he painted the fireplace white… 😏

  1. Is there anything you’re planning on doing differently this time in comparison to when you brought Quinn & Theo home?

If my children have taught me anything in my journey as a mum, it’s that you do what you have to do to get by, even if it’s not the way you would like to do it. Being a mum is the most selfless job there is and you come to realise that their needs are more important than yours and you have to learn to balance that with your necessities. No two babies are the same, or three for that matter, so I cannot expect them to each conform to the same way of doing things. It’s all a journey to learn what works best for each of your individual children. There are so many things that I’ll definitely try to adopt into our journey with another, but only if this baby is ready and willing to accept them. If not, I’ll nurture and tend to this babe in the way he/she needs me to and the way that helps me cope with parenting three gorgeous humans.

  1. What advice might you have for any other mama’s who might be thinking about having baby number 3 but are worried about the impact It might have on their families/relationships/themselves or possibly may be second guessing a 3rd child due to comments/judgement from others? 

My husband and I discussed this around Theo’s first birthday. There is a lot to consider when deciding to add to your family, no matter what number baby you are potentially considering, but going for a third seems to be a big decision, and just recently I’ve come to notice the stigma around it. It was something that we didn’t consider lightly and came to the conclusion that we still both wanted more children. We decided that no matter how hard it will be, we were willing to make the sacrifices to be able to financially afford, accommodate and cope with having another baby. Since falling pregnant we are now looking into options of a bigger car and navigating solutions for a larger family in our humble little home. We have loose plans in place to meet our goals before this baby arrives, but there’s no stress if not, all in good time!

All children are a blessing, no amount of judgements, witty remarks or unwelcome comments can take away from the joy of growing another life and having another baby. Your family should be the size that you and your significant other decide on, not a projection of what someone else’s version of a perfect number of children is. We have both had a few jokes directed at us already, and ironically… no, we don’t actually have a TV 😉

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